Hyotei Insanity
by seigakuprodigy
Summary: A series of fics in which the Hyotei team is insane. Poor Gakuto...
1. Atobe's Diary

I just couldn't miss a chance to write a birthday fic for Oshitari since he's one of my favorite characters from Prince of Tennis (top 3 actually). But enough of that. I've finally finished it! This will be a series of Hyotei insanity fics.

* * *

It was 6:30 in the morning. Oshitari was sitting in the Hyotei clubhouse reading a romance novel. Then Atobe came by and stared at him like he was crazy. 

"Is there a problem Keigo?"

"Yes, in fact, there's three problems. One, the courts are trashed. Two, you're here early, which is never a good thing. And three, you're calling me by first name. Last I checked, it was Atobe buchou to you."

"The courts are trashed? Wow, probably vandalism by some gang." Oshitari's reply sounded way too sarcastic. "...And the fact that I'm here early shouldn't be a problem at all." a sadistic smile started to form on Oshitari's lips. "While I'm at it, I should correct my earlier mistake shouldn't I, _**Oresama**_?"

"God damn it, just shut up."

"Whatever."

Atobe left the room. A minute later, Gakuto came running in.

"Yuushi! I nearly got in trouble for that! What's your big plan anyway?"

"Simple. You trash the courts to make him walk over there, then you set off the smoke bomb you got at the prank store to cause a distraction."

"Then?"

"We steal his diary."

"Sweet! But how will you find his diary?"

"He always keeps it with him. In his tennis bag."

"Let's go get it then!"

"No need."

Just then, Jirou came into the clubhouse.

"Oi, Oshitari! I got it! Now you gotta keep your part of the deal!" said an excited Jirou holding up a purple notebook with a lock on it.

"I'm confused." said Gakuto.

"I told Jirou that if he got the diary, I'd let him read it first."

"Oh no, it's locked!" said Gakuto and Jirou simultaneously.

"No big deal, I expected it to be." said Oshitari holding up a small hairpin and picking open the lock with ease. "Now, let's see what he wrote..."

* * *

"Oh god! Can you believe what he wrote?!" said Gakuto during lunchtime. 

"You're just pissed off because he called you and Shishido retarded morons." said Oshitari.

"No, I mean, **_that."_**

"Oh... **_that. _**By the time we get to afternoon tennis practice, at least all the regulars will know."

* * *

That afternoon at practice, Gakuto came to practice with a megaphone (stolen from coach Sakaki's office) and Oshitari was holding Atobe's diary. 

When all the regulars arrived, Gakuto started yelling into the megaphone: "Hey everyone! Wanna know some of Atobe's secrets? We'll announce two for free! Then you gotta pay us if you want to hear more!"

"Go ahead Gakuto." said Oshitari.

Gakuto flipped to a random page and started reading the entry out loud using a poorly imitated Atobe voice, "**_I am extremely annoyed at the fact that I am still unable to defeat neither Sanada nor Tezuka at full strength. The fact that I lost to Echizen twice just makes it worse. And..._**"

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?!?!?!??!" yelled Atobe who had just decided to show up.

"We're listening to a very entertaining story Gakuto and Oshitari are telling." said Shishido.

"And you're not going to interupt." said Hiyoshi as he bound and gagged Atobe from behind.

Gakuto read a few more **_stories_** after that. Now it was Oshitari's turn.

Oshitari flipped to a page he had previously bookmarked with post-it and started reading: "**_I, oresama hve to admit that I am still madly in love with two of my greatest rivals, Kunim-"_**

"SHUT THE HELL UP NOW OSHITARI!" yelled Atobe, who had somehow escaped from Hiyoshi's hold.

"**_-su Tezuk-_**"

"NOW!"

"**_and Geni-_**"

"SHUT UP!"

"**_-rou Sana-_**"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!"

Oshitari stopped, but it was already too late. The regulars had heard way too much already.

"SHISHIDO, RUN 60 LAPS! HIYOSHI, RUN 70 LAPS! GAKUTO, RUN 80 LAPS! OSHITARI, RUN 100 LAPS!"

Oshitari just had to add in a comment, "I could run a thousand laps but who says you're getting your diary (or your reputation for that matter) back?"

"Guys, I think Atobe just fainted." said Chotarou.

* * *

This was only my second fic so it's probably not too good but please review anyway just to let me know you read it. I'll update when I get another chance! 


	2. Shut Up!

Sorry, I haven't updated in a while! Ive been a bit busy lately: MapleStory, Youtube, homework, etc. Here's chapter two! Enjoy!

* * *

The Hyotei regulars were sitting in the clubhouse waiting for Atobe to start morning practice. Nobody dared to talk about last week's incident in front of their somewhat irritable captain. Except Oshitari. Although he wasn't talking about it now, because it wouldn't be any fun unless Atobe was there. Then... 

"Hey Shishido, you're stepping on my tennis bag." said Gakuto rather calmly.

"So what?" replied Shishido.

"So get off!"

"Or else what?!"

"Or else I'll kick your face!"

"Gakuto, you can't kick my face because you're too short--OW! WHAT THE FUCK!" Gakuto had done a moonsault and kicked Shishido's face on the way down.

"THAT"S WHAT YOU GET, LOSER!"

"JERK!"

"BUM!"

"RETARD!"

"STUPID!"

"IDIOT!"

"MORON!"

"DUMBASS!"

"BASTARD!"

"ASSHOLE!"

"BITCH!"

Shishido punched Gakuto in the face after that word.

"What the hell?!"

"That was payback for kicking me in the head!"

"You wanna fight?!"

"Bring it on loser!"

"Here they go again." said Hiyoshi.

"Always like this." said Oshitari as he went back to his book.

Then Atobe came in. "**What -- the -- hell -- is -- going -- on ??!!**"

"Obviously, Shishido and Gakuto are having another bitch fight." said Oshitari very calmly.

"Kabaji!"

"Usu."

"Get them outta here! Now!"

"Usu."

* * *

At lunch time, during practice, Coach Sakaki had a **very bright idea**. "We're going to try a new doubles pairing today. Oshitari and Ootori, take that side of the court. Mukahi and Shishido take the other side." 

Almost instantly, there was chaos.

"WHY DO I HAVE TO PAIR WITH** HIM **!?!?!?!?!?" Shishido and Gakuto said simultaneously.

"Because you need to learn to cooperate."

"NO!!!'

"Fine then, because I said so."

"I'm not playing doubles with this loser!" said both of them.

"Well it doesn't look like you have a choice." said Hiyoshi.

"Shut up!" yelled Shishido.

"Nobody asked you!" added Gakuto.

* * *

Game to Oshitari-Ootori pair. 5 games to 0, change court. 

"Nice scud serve." said Oshitari.

"Thanks!" said Chotarou.

"This is all your fault!" screamed Shishido.

"**My **fault ?!?!?!" yelled Gakuto.

"Yes it's your fault!!!! Cause you're stupid!!!"

"Shut the hell up!"

"No!"

"Shut up!"

"Make me!"

"Both of you shut the hell up!" yelled Atobe.

Hiyoshi whispered something to Atobe "Hey, I have an idea..."

"Seriously."

"Trust me. It'll work."

"Trust **you**?"

"Just do it."

"Fine. Hey Shishido, Gakuto!"

"What do you want?!?!"

"**I want you to stop bitching. But obviously that's not going to happen. Gakuto, you haven't returned a single scud serve. Shishido, your grip totally sucks. And neither of you have won a single game yet. Both of you suck.**"

"You're the one that sucks!" yelled Gakuto.

"For once, I agree with this idiot. Shut up, Atobe!" said Shishido.

"Then start playing."

* * *

Game to Shishido-Mukahi pair. 7games to 5. 

"God damn it. How did they win?!" asked Atobe.

"Simple, they both hate each other. But they hate you even more." said Hiyoshi.

"And how did you get that idea?"

"I don't like you either."

"Over my dead body will you become captain next year."

"That can be arranged."

* * *

Please review even if you have nothing to say. You don't even need to login. Just a word or two to let me know you read it. Also, I've put a Prince of Tennis poll on my profile. Vote by PM! I'll add another cahpter when I get a chance! 


	3. Gekokujou!

Yay! Another chapter! This chapter was inspired by a joke ny mom told me, my teacher (who is driven insane by dumb questions), and my friend. Enjoy! btw words in italics but not in bold are in English.

* * *

Hiyoshi was at the clubhouse early that day. He was usually here early, but today he had arrived an hour early at 5:30am. When Atobe came, he was not happy (Hiyoshi or Atobe whichever makes you happier). 

"Why-"

"Because I just decided to come early today." Hiyoshi answered.

"Do not interupt oresama in the middled of a senten-"

"I just did. So what?"

"Forget it."

Atobe stormed out of the room bumping into Shishido and Choutarou who were walking in.

"Hey, watch it!" (obviously Choutarou didn't say that) "Who pissed him off this time?"

"Me." said Hiyoshi.

"That's odd. You usually only try to gekokujou him _**on**_ the courts."

"Seems impossible. So I'll try off courts."

"How?"

"You'll see."

* * *

That evening inside the Hyotei dorm (we'll assume that a rich school like Hyotei has dormitories), Hiyoshi went downstairs to find Atobe. 

"Hey Buchou, I need help on my English homework."

"And now you need my help?!"

"Yup."

"Alright, I'll be kind today and help you."

Hiyoshi held up a sheet of paper:

* * *

English Homework 

Define these phrases:

-_I don't know._

-_I know. _

-_I know, but I don't want to tell you._

-_God save me._

-_Look it up in the dictionary._

-_You better ask someone else. _

-_I quit! _

* * *

"Can you tell me what these phrases mean? I forgot." 

"Sure."

"Ok, what's the first one say?"

"I don't know."

"How can you not know? I thought you were the best at everything."

"No, it's just I don't know."

"Then what's the second one?"

"I know."

"Then tell me."

"I know."

"Quit joking around! What's the third one say? ---------------OW!" Atobe punched him in the stomach (but since Hiyoshi knows martial arts it proabably didn't hurt.

"The fourth one then."

"God save me."

"I thought you would help me."

"I am helping."

"What's the fifth one?"

"Look it up in the dictionary."

"I can't. Gakuto set it on fire last week."

"Then too bad!"

"What's the sixth phrase mean?"

"You better ask someone else."

"But you agreed to help."

Atobe shot him a look that said "Go die!!!"

"Ok then, what's the last one mean?"

"I quit!" Atobe stood up and Hiyoshi went up to his room and locked the door. Smart move. 10 seconds later Atobe is trying to kick the door down.

"Open the door now!"

"What? So you can kill me?"

"Exactly!"

"No."

"Open the door now you dumbass!"

"Gekokujou."

* * *

"Gakuto, did you get all that?" asked Oshitari who was hiding behind a wall.

"Yup. Got the whole thing on tape." answered Gakuto.

"Man, he did better than Gakuto." said Shishido.

"This may explain why." said Oshitari as he handed over a notebook from Hiyoshi's backpack.

[_**1. Atobe says "Over my dead body..." 2. Kill Atobe. 3. Atobe is too mental to be captain. 4. Oshitari has to take over because he's sub-captain (everyone says Hyotei has no sub-captain but we all know it's Oshitari) 5. Next year I become captain. Gekokujou.**_

"He's good."

"Yeah."

* * *

Please review! Sorry if it sucks, I'm trying to do one chapter for each Hyotei regular before I go off on random ideas. Again, there's a Prince of Tennis Survey on my profile so please vote! I'll update soon!


	4. Narcoleptic OOCness, Part One

Sorry for the long wait! I wanted to put up a chapter for every Hyotei regular but all my ideas were for either the Dirty Pair or more Atobe torture. It took me a while but I finally got an idea. This one is in two parts so don't be surprised if there's nothing good in this chapter. When you read the next chapter you'll get it.

* * *

It was just another normal day at Hyotei (if you think Hyotei is normal at all). All the regulars were sitting in the clubhouse (which was very large because Hyotei is rich) after the usual morning practice. Except for one.

Jirou was still sleeping on a bench near the courts. It wasn't unusual to find him sleeping there after practice, but today, Coach Sakaki decided to hold a team meeting...

* * *

"Okay, everyone to my office. We're having a team meeting today to discuss the order of this Saturday's match!" said Coach Sakaki as he walked into the room. 

"Aww.. Why bother? It's just a practice match with Shintenhouji!" whined Gakuto.

"We won't get a lot of chances to play them since Osaka is pretty far from here." said Oshitari.

"Hey everyone, where's Jirou?" asked Choutarou.

"Kabaji! Get Jirou." said Atobe.

"Usu"

* * *

"Coach Sakaki called for a team meeting. He wants you there." said Kabaji. 

"But I'm sleeping...zzz" replied Jirou.

"Atobe sent me to get you."

"Aww, but meetings are so boring..." said a pouting Jirou.

Kabaji, however being the only one immune to Jirou's pouting carried him to Sakaki's office as he fell asleep again.

* * *

During the meeting... 

Coach Sakaki was going over the order of the matches "Okay, so doubles 2 will be played by Shishido/Ootori pair"

"We'll beat them for sure!" said Shishido.

"Doubles 1 will be played by Oshitari/Mukahi pair"

"I'm not getting beat by those no name losers!" said Gakuto.

"Singles 3 will be played by Hiyoshi"

"Gekokujou."

"Singles 2 will be played by Akutagawa-"

"He fell asleep again." said Shishido.

"No need to point out the obvious." said Atobe.

"How can he fall asleep three times in one meeting?" asked Gakuto (well it was more of a comment than a question).

"_-sigh-_ Jirou wake up!" said Coach Sakaki.

"zzzzzz...huh?"

"You're playing singles 2."

"Oh...zzzzzz"

* * *

At lunchtime practice... 

"Jirou it's your serve." said Atobe.

Apparently he was playing his receiving game while asleep. That would explain how he was now standing on the court in the receiving stance. It didn't explain how he won the first game against Atobe.

"How does he do that?" asked Gakuto.

"No idea." said Shishido.

"Sorry...zzzzzz"

Game set and match to Atobe 7 games to 5.

"Hey Atobe, did you hold back on him?" asked Oshitari.

"Just a little."

"No way." said Gakuto

* * *

"Sempai, can you practice with me?" asked Hiyoshi. 

"zzzz...huh? Oh sure." answered Jirou.

* * *

Please review! You can look on my profile for updates on the story status. There's also a Prince of Tennis poll. I'll update very soon! 


	5. Narcoleptic OOCness, Part Two

OMG! It took me so long to update! I was initialy planning on updating after three days, but because my computer crashed, that three days turned into like three weeks! Anyways, I'm really sorry and here's the next chapter!

* * *

It's the next day at Hyotei just one day away from their match with Shintenhouji. The regulars were always happy on Fridays, especially Jirou. But this week was different... 

"Hey, am I the only one who's noticed how strange Jirou is acting this week?" asked Choutarou.

"Actually, I've noticed the same thing." said Shishido.

"Isn't he usually jumpy on Fridays?" asked Gakuto.

"If you ask me, he seems a little irritated." said Oshitari.

* * *

Jirou was, in fact, very irritated. He didn't get much sleep this week because of Coach Sakaki's arrangements for Saturday's match against Shintenhouji. Today was the worst.

* * *

Shishido was in the clubroom reading a book. Oshitari was doing homework. Gakuto was apparently a bit sugar high, so he was jumping around the room like crazy annoying the hell out of everyone. All while Jirou was trying to sleep. Atobe chose a very good day to be gone. 

"Mukahi sempai, I think you should calm down." said Choutarou.

"Never!!!" yelled Gakuto as he jumped on Shishido's head and took his hat.

"Give that back now or I'll kill you!!!!" said Shishido.

"Whatever." said Gakuto as he stuck his tounge out at Shishido and jumped on top of a bookshelf.

"Gakuto you bastard! Give it back!"

"Haha, not if you can't catch me!" said Gakuto as he bounced off Shishido's head and landed on a suspiciously neat pile of papers on the floor.

_**"Gakuto, what did I tell you about stepping on my homework again?"**_ said Oshitari.

"Err...that you would kill me?"

_**"Correct."**_ said Oshitari as he joined Shishido in attempting to kill Gakuto for being a pest.

"Aw c'mon guys i was just being a little annoying."

"This is the tenth time that you stepped on my homework this semester. What do you expect me to say to my teachers about there being shoe prints on my triginometry worksheet?!"

"And you're not a _**little**_ annoying, you drive all of us insane." said Shishido as he tried to grab Gakuto's leg when he was jumping towards the couch.

"Hehe, you guys are so slow!" said Gakuto as he bounced off Jirou's head and crashed into a wall.

"Ouch, that hurt..." said Gakuto expecting a _that's what you get_ comment from Oshitari or Shishido.

"...Jirou looks..." whispered Oshitari.

"...mad..." continued Shishido.

Gakuto had just recovered from his little crash landing and he found him self siting on the ground with Jirou standing in front of him.

**_"You little bastard...You're dead!!!" _**said Jirou as he started kicking Gakuto repeatedly.

"Oh my god. Have you ever seen Jirou like this before?" asked Shishido.

"Nope, first time." said Oshitari. "I think we should stay and watch this. From a safe distance of course."

"Yeah." said Shishido.

* * *

Please review even if you hate me for taking such a long time to update. From now on I'll be taking requests on story ideas since I'm all out. If you have a request please PM me so it doesn't spoil the surprise for other readers. 


	6. Match Results

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been kinda busy. This will be kind of a prologue to the next chapter in the Hyotei Insanity series. Enjoy!

* * *

It was Sunday morning at the Hyotei dorm. The regulars were going over the results of the matches against Shintenhouji. Some of them weren't too happy... 

---

S1: Atobe vs Shiraishi - Shintenhouji wins 7-6

S2: Akutagawa vs Chitose - Hyotei wins DEFAULT

S3: Kabaji vs Ishida - Shintenhouji wins 6-5

D1: Mukahi/Oshitari vs _Baka pair - Hyotei wins 7-5_

D2: Ootori/Shishido vs. Zaizen/Oshitari - Shintenhouji wins 7-6

_S4: Hiyoshi/Jirou vs Tooyama - Hyotei wins 6-2_

_---_

"Oh look, the great Atobe-sama has lost again." said Gakuto.

"Yeah, what a loser." said Shishido.

"Hey! Who crossed it out and wrote Baka pair!" asked Taki.

"Gakuto." said everyone.

"You're just pissed off cause u cracked and I had to bring back the match from 5-0." said Oshitari.

"Psh. Shut up." said Gakuto.

"Is it just me, or does Mukahi sempai seem to act like a girl sometimes?" asked Choutarou politely.

"No it's not you, it's him." said Shishido as he pointed to Gakuto. "OW!! HE BIT ME!!!"

"Don't stick your finger out for him to bite then." said Hiyoshi.

"You're in no position to speak. You and Jirou ganged up on a 7th grader." said Oshitari.

"Who wrote that!?!?!" asked Hiyoshi.

"Gakuto."

"That wasn't me!"

"It was me!" said Jirou smiling.

"You're so lucky. Your volley hit Chitose on the head and knocked him out." said Shishido.

"Since we won, let's celebrate!" said Jirou "Everyone pack your skis and snowboards. We'll go up to Gunma tomorrow!! Unless you guys have anything to do over the holidays."

"Sounds great." said Oshitari.

"Hehe." giggled Gakuto.

"They're planning something." said Shishido.

"Hey, where's Atobe?" asked Choutarou.

* * *

(Author's note: Gunma is a very mountainous part of Japan. Yes it is in Kantou.) Please review (or I won't update [friend wrote this lol)! I'll put up the next chapter as soon as I have time!


	7. Cursed Lake?

Sorry for the long wait, but this chapter was really really long. I originally intended to make this a holiday fic, but it looks like it's a little too late. If it's any consolation, maybe it'll remind you of the holidays. ( school sucks ) Enjoy!

* * *

On Monday morning, all the regulars showed up early in anticipation of an insanity free mini-vacation. Well, of course there will be no craziness, right? As if.

"Coach Sakaki said he was gonna pick us up at 7:00. He's late." said Atobe.

"Geki dasa daze." said Shishido.

"No time management at all." said Oshitari.

"What a loser!" said Gakuto.

"Speak of the devil." said Hiyoshi as coach Sakaki drove up in a rather small van.

"Nice to see you're all here on time. Sorry I'm a bit late." said coach Sakaki.

Everyone sweatdrops.

"You call that transportation?!" asked Atobe.

"That van won't fit eight people." said Oshitari.

"We'll have to squeeze in." said Sakaki.

"I'll sit in the front!" said everyone simultaneously. ( yes, even Choutarou )

"Just pick straws." said their now sweatdropping coach.

* * *

"You lucky bastard!" said a few team members as they sat in the van.

"Actually, the straws were rigged." said Oshitari.

As of now, Oshitari sat in the blessed, insanity free front seat, while Atobe, Kabaji, and Jirou sat in the middle row, and Gakuto, Shishido, Hiyoshi, and Choutarou sat in the back.

You can probably guess by now what happens if you put Gakuto and Shishido within 2 feet of each other. It happens so that if you read off the names of the people sitting in the back row it would be Gakuto, Shishido, Ootori, and Hiyoshi...

* * *

Five minutes later... 

"Shut the hell up or I'll push you out the window!" yelled Shishido.

"Like you can!" said Gakuto.

"I can, and I will!"

"Pshh. Whatever."

"Just shut up."

"No!"

"Then die!" said Shishido as he attempted to push Gakuto out the window.

Just at that moment, Oshitari reached over to the driver's seat and locked the rear window controls.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't push my doubles partner out of the car. However, I'd have no objection whatsoever if you tried to push Atobe out the window." said Oshitari.

"But sempai, uhh..."said Ootori...

_earlier: _

_"Won't you two just shut up!"_

_"Make us."_

_"I will not stoop to that level."_

_"Then we will."_

"So there's kind of an empty seat now." said Ootori.

"You guys tied him up and threw him in the trunk? Hmm, I think I was reading a book at the time." said Oshitari.

"Untie him Kabaji." said coach Sakaki.

"Usu."

* * *

Finally, all the Hyotei regulars arrived at the ski resort alive. Quite a few of them were surprised. 

"How come there's hardly any people here?" asked Gakuto.

"Ski resorts are usually packed with people at this time of year." said Shishido.

"Well that's good, isn't it? We won 't have to wait in a line to use the ski lifts." said Jirou.

"Oshitari suggested this place." said Hiyoshi.

"Hmm? I guess I forgot to tell you why this place doesn't have much people." said Oshitari.

"Tell us!"

"All right. They say that 15 years ago, a little boy wandered into a fenced off area in this resort. He fell into the lake and died. His body was never found. People think he haunts this place because nobody came looking for him."

"Wait, so this place is haunted?!" asked Gakuto.

"No, it's just a story. I don't think it's even true." said Oshitari.

"Hold it. A while back, I heard about some accident on the news where a kid fell into a lake at a ski resort and almost died." said Shishido "I think it was this place."

"Two similar accidents in one place?! This resort is haunted!!! Let's get outta here!" yelled Gakuto.

"Coach Sakaki already left. He's coming back to pick us up at 7pm." said Oshitari.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

"Ok, will everyone just SHUT UP?!" yelled Atobe.

"..."

"There's no such thing as haunted or cursed ski resorts, so can we just move on?!?!?!??!" asked Atobe.

"Yeah."

* * *

2 hours later... 

"What happened to you guys?!" asked Oshitari.

"He pushed me off the ski lift!!!!" yelled Shishido.

"He pulled me down with him!!!!" yelled Gakuto.

And before you knew it, the two started a snowball fight.

"Give it up you loser!" said Gakuto before Atobe slammed a paarticularly large snowball into his face.

And it went on and on. Until Shishido got annoyed and hit Gakuto with his snowboard.

* * *

Later that day... 

"Hey Oshitari, you said that a boy fell into the lake and died, correct?" said Hiyoshi.

"Yes."

"But I just passed the lake earlier today, and it was frozen."

"Wait, but it wasn't frozen when I passed it just 20 minutes ago!" said Choutarou.

"But this morning it was frozen remember?" said Shishido.

"We could always go down _that _slope so we can get a closer look." said Oshitari.

"..."

* * *

"No way am I going down there!" yelled Gakuto.

"YES YOU ARE!" said everyone else as they pushed him down the slope.

"C'mon, let's all go!" said Jirou.

--

"Hey, does this slope seem really long to you?" asked Gakuto as he did a moonsault.

"Gakuto that's not a good idea." said Oshitari.

"Yeah, you might moonsault into the ground. On a second thought, go ahead and kill yourself, what do I care." said Shishido.

"Whatever." said Gakuto as he lost control of his snowboard and tripped over a rock.

"Where did he fall?" asked Choutarou.

"In the lake I think." said Atobe.

"Hurry up, let's go see!" said Shishido.

* * *

"GOD THIS IS COLD!!! GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!" screamed Gakuto.

"You can swim. Get out yourself." said Oshitari.

Meanwhile, Shishido and Atobe were laughing their asses off.

"That's a bit mean isn't it." said Choutarou as he helped Gakuto out of the lake.

"At least he didn't end up dead like those two kids." said Hiyoshi.

"So just how many people fell in this lake, counting the ones that lived?" asked Shishido.

"Beats me." said Oshitari.

* * *

Yay, finally done with this chapter! Please review! Also I don't want to start writing random crack, so if anyone has any non-yaoi idea's please pm! 


	8. Valentine's Day, Fall or Die?

This will be my Valentine's Day chapter for Hyotei Insanity! Tell me if you want a part 2 to this chapter!

* * *

It was Valentine's Day at Hyotei, or as the regulars called it: Crazy Fangirl Day.

Almost all the regulars were in the clubroom sitting out all the in sanity outside.

"Oh man, are they still trying to knock down the door?" asked Taki.

"Apparently." replied Oshitari.

"How are we gonna get to class?" asked Choutarou.

"Yeah, I'd like to know too." said Hiyoshi.

"..."

"Since it's the first year you two have dealt with this I'll explain: You see, we've been using a secret passage to get to class these past years. Of course, it's supposed to be blocked up somewhere in the middle but I fixed the problem..." said Oshitari.

"Please tell me you have the keys." said Atobe.

"Yes, but we have to wait for Shishido and Gakuto."

"There they come!" yelled Jirou who was looking out the window.

-

"Damnit!" yelled Shishido.

"Tell me about it!" yelled Gakuto.

The two were running towards the clubroom with at least 30 fangirls chasing after them.

"They're catching up!" yelled Shishido.

"Damn!"

"You'd think we'd be able to outrun a few fangirls!"

"They're faster than they look!"

-

"Open the door on my signal." said Oshitari.

"And do it fast." added Atobe.

"1."

"The fangirls are catching up to them!" yelled Jirou.

"2."

"Almost here!"

"3."

"NOW!" yelled Atobe as Oshitari thrust open the door. Shishido and Gakuto dove inside just before Oshitari slammed it shut again.

"Now lock it before they get in!" yelled Atobe.

"Shishido-san!" yelled a very concerned Ootori.

"I'm fine, just fine..."

"You two are the fastest in the team! You should be able to outrun a few fangirls!" said Atobe.

"That was too close for comfort." said Gakuto.

"Worse than last year." said Oshitari.

"Let's just get to class before they knock down the door." said Atobe.

"Way ahead of you." said Oshitari as he took a small key out of his pocket.

The tensai moved away a small rug on the floor to reveal a trapdoor which he opened with the key.

"Everyone in! Kabaji last since he's holding down the door so the dogs don't get in." commanded Atobe.

When everyone was in, Oshitari locked the trapdoor behind him.

"Please explain." asked Hiyoshi.

"I found the entrance to this utility during my first year here. I found out about a large air duct that goes from this utility to a few other places in the school." said Oshitari.

"You know all the secret passages in this school Yuushi, and you had Gakuto map them out for you two to commit various pranks if not crimes." said Atobe in a matter of fact tone.

"How come you're not complaining about being in a dirty old utility or crawling through an air duct?" asked Hiyoshi.

"Fangirls are a lot worse, you'll have to trust me on that." said Atobe.

"Right here." said Oshitari pointing to a large air duct.

"Please keep in mind that this is the largest section of the air vent. According to my map, the largest sections are 3 feet high and 3 feet wide, while the smallest are only 1 foot across and 1/2 foot high. The best route leads to the gym where the vent and its exit are 2 feet wide and 2 feet high but..." started Oshitari.

"It's a ceiling duct." finished Atobe.

"!!!"

* * *

A few minutes later...

"The path is getting narrow, we're close!" yelled out Oshitari to the rest of the group.

"So that's why Oshitari sempai brought a flashlight, but I still don't get why a rope would be needed..." said Choutarou.

"Best not to think about it." said Shishido.

* * *

"We're at the exit!" yelled Oshitari.

"All clear, the gym's empty!" said Gakuto.

"Are you crazy!?!" yelled Hiyoshi looking down from the exit. "That's at least a 30 foot drop towards the gym floor!!!"

"That's what this rope's for you idiot!" said Gakuto holding up a rope that looked a little shorter than it should've been.

"Gakuto! I told you to watch out for that fan blade earlier! It cut off at least half the rope!" yelled Oshitari.

"You have 80 laps to run tomorrow for your stupidity!" yelled Atobe.

"Nice going moron." said Shishido as he slapped Gakuto for being such a dumbass.

"The way I see it, we have 2 options: 1. We go back the way we came. 2. We use the rope as far as it goes and take the remaining fall down." said Oshitari.

"If we go back, there's a chance most of the fangirls have already left for class or given up. But, there's also the chance that they're still there. 50/50 chance." said Atobe.

"If we go through this exit, we could make the remaining 20 foot jump from the end of the rope with the chance of breaking a leg." said Oshitari.

"HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING BACK!!!" said Taki.

"You must be out of your mind Oshitari-sempai. I'm going back right now!" said Hiyoshi.

"I think I'll jump. What about you, Shishido-san?" asked Choutarou.

"Those fangirls are insane! I'm jumping!" replied Shishido.

"That jump is so easy!" said Gakuto.

"This is crazy, that's a 20 foot drop right there! I'm turning back. C'mon Kabaji." said Atobe.

"Usu." replied Kabaji.

"Suit yourself, but I'll jump." said Oshitari.

"I'll go too!" said Jirou.

The said regulars turned around and went back the way they came. The rest waited as Oshitari tied the rope ceiling support beam.

"See ya!" said Gakuto as he slid down the rope and jumped off the end.

"Nice landing." said Oshitari.

"I'll go next!" said Jirou who also made a successful jump although he staggered a bit as he landed.

"Atobe is such an idiot." said Oshitari who "accidentally" landed on Gakuto when he jumped.

Choutarou went next immediately, so poor Gakuto never had the time to get up before Ootori landed on him.

"Oops. Sorry Mukahi sempai!"

"You loser." said Shishido who landed on Gakuto on purpose just for the hell of it.

"OW! THAT HURT!!!" screamed Gakuto.

"I wonder how the others are doing." said Choutarou.

* * *

Meanwhile, Atobe and the others were running away from roughly about 200 fangirls. 

"DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Atobe.

"I should've jumped" said Hiyoshi.

"Yeah." agreed Taki.

* * *

Please review even if you think it's crappy. My next fic will either be a short part 2 for this chapter or a fic for Fuji's birthday! I'll probably end up doing both of them even though I'll be doing Fuji's birthday fic regardless of review requests... 


	9. Valentine's Day, Stuck Inside?

This will be part 2 to my Hyotei Insanity Valentine's Day fic! Read and review!

* * *

It was Valentine's Day afternoon in Hyotei. All the regulars were now safely inside the Hyotei dorms. 

"Oh god, I wouldn't be surprised if the fangirls at Hyotei High had battering rams." said Gakuto.

"Actually, they just kick down the door." said Oshitari.

"Where's Atobe buchou?" asked Choutarou.

"Locked up in his room." said Shishido and Oshitari together.

"It's like he has some kind of fangirl phobia on Valentine's Day." said Shishido.

"He did this last year." said Oshitari.

"Must really hate fangirls." said Hiyoshi.

* * *

20 minutes later, 

Oshitari was reading a book, Shishido and Ootori were trying to do their homework, everyone else was sitting around waiting for the fangirls to go home. Except Gakuto, he was going a bit stir crazy.

"Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Gakuto.

"Aww shut up moron!" said Shishido.

"Just wait, some of them already left." said Oshitari.

"But there's still about 100 fangirls out there, and it's already 6:30 PM!!!!!!!"

"As soon as they leave we'll be doing some tennis practice." said Atobe.

"Damn, it's already dark outside..." said Shishido.

" NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" screamed Gakuto while throwing a fit.

"Gakuto, shut up and stop jumping around or else I'll kick you outta here!" yelled Atobe.

"NO!"

At this time Jirou woke up from Gakuto's yelling and promptly proceeded to throw him out the window.

"LET - ME - SLEEP!!!!!!!!" yelled Jirou.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Gakuto from outside.

"Shouldn't we help him?" asked Choutarou.

"Nah." replied everyone else.

* * *

Later:

"Finally we can practice!!!" said Shishido as the team (-Gakuto) walked out onto the courts.

"Sugoi!!!!!!! Gakuto is stuck on a tree branch!!! How did he get out here?" asked Jirou.

"-.-" everyone sweatdrops

* * *

Yay finally finished!!! Just in time too. I'm now type this sentence Valentine's Day morning at 7:25 AM! ...And as a Valentine's Day gift to all who have read and reviewed my stories, if you want any version of the song "Valentine Kiss" feel free to ask!!!!! 


	10. Damn you Mukahi!

I've been kinda busy lately; ya know, doing homework, studying, etc...

LIES!! SHE'S BEEN PLAYING ONLINE GAMES AND SLACKING OFF!! SHE'S HAD NO HOMEWORK FOR WEEKS AND SHE NEVER STUDIES!!

Hey, back off Michelle! When I said you could edit my mistakes and add something to the intro I didn't mean you could make me look like some idiot!  
Anyways, the reviews and alerts just kept coming so I decided to write more!! Here's another chapter, enjoy!

* * *

It was another peaceful evening at the Hyotei dormitories...Actually, it was dark and rainy outside and crazy and chaotic inside, so nothing unusual there. Except the fact that Atobe was staying in the dorm tonight...

"Yuushi!! I'm bored!!" yelled Gakuto (when Oshitari was reading a book).

"_-sigh-_ Just go entertain yourself or something. I'm reading." responded Oshitari.

"But-"

"Go bug someone else.

* * *

Kabaji was sitting in his room doing homework as usual when Gakuto came in to mess up his life.

"Kabaji!! I'm bored!!"

"..."

_"Hmm, not working eh? _Hey Kabaji, Atobe said that you could go home early today since you're playing singles 2 in tomorrow's match.

"...Usu..."

Kabaji gets his stuff and leaves.

* * *

Taki was checking his email until... At this time Gakuto jump kicks him in the head

"Oww! What the hell did you do that for?!"

"Eh, I thought you were asleep."

"You dumbass, is this what you do to wake people up?"

"So you admit you were sleeping?"

"NO! And get outta my room!!"

* * *

Hiyoshi was outside practicing (yes, in the rain) probably to avoid Gakuto at all costs.

"Hey Hiyoshi, aren't you getting wet out here?"

"Obviously."

"Then why are you out here?"

"I'm practicing."

"Why?"

"Because I'm playing singles 3 in tomorrow's match."

"Why?"

"Because Atobe said so."

"Why?"

"Because he's the captain."

"Why?"

"Because nobody else wants to be captain."

"Why?"

"Because of you."

"Why?"

Hiyoshi sweatdrops and slaps Gakuto.

* * *

Choutarou was talking to Shishido at the living room (the living room is huge because Hyotei is rich).

"Oi, Choutarou!! I'm bored!!" yelled Gakuto who just now came bouncing into the room.

"Oh god, it's the idiot..." said Shishido.

"Mukahi sempai!"

"Sheesh, at least one person here can address me correctly."

"That's because Choutarou is the only one here that's too nice to tell you how small your brain really is."

"Um..." Choutarou sensed another bitch fight.

"Like you have a brain, Shishido!"

"That's you Gakuto!"

"**I don't even know** how a no talent moron like you even got into this team!"

"That's because **you don't know** anything at all!"

"Um...Shishido sempai, Mukahi sempai..."

"PEA-BRAIN!"

"IDIOT!"

"RETARD!"

"DUMBASS!"

"ASS -what the- HEY COME BACK HERE WITH MY HAT!!"

And the chaos continues for 15 minutes as Shishido chases Gakuto around the dorm while Choutarou tries (fails) to calm them down. Finally...

"Gotcha!" said Shishido as he grabbed Gakuto by the back of his jersey and took back his hat.

"Hey! Let go of me!"

"As if."

Then, without warning, Gakuto took off his jersey and escaped, and Shishido immediately ran after his and...

_-insert action scene which little kids should not see and/or learn from-_

"Oh my god..." said Choutarou.

"He should be fine." said Shishido as he closed the window.

"Y-You just kicked him out the window!!"

"Che, if he's as acrobatic as he claims then he'll be fine."

"That wasn't very nice Shishido sempai."

* * *

Outside...

_"Stupid Shishido kicked me out the window..."_

_"Now, how do I get back in...the door's locked...the windows are closed...hmm, isn't there a roof entrance that leads to the largest bedroom??"_

_Thwack, thwack, thwack, _

_"Damn it, what is that sound over the roof!?" thought Atobe._

_Thwack, thack, thwack,_

Then a bunch of dust from the ceiling fell onto Atobe's head. (Just imagine the look on his face...)

-

Yes, Mukahi was jumping on the roof to try and open the trapdoor (which was locked from the inside by Atobe).

(Now imagine this scene and put it together with the next one...)

Suddenly, the lock broke off and Gakuto came crashing through the ceiling landing right on top of Atobe.

"..."

"..."

"MUKAHI!!"

"Uh-oh..."

"HOW DARE YOU DISGRACE ORE-SAMA LIKE THIS!!"

"Uh, is this about the mud on the floor, the roof, or your ego?"

"My ego?"

-

"And CUT! okokok let's go now." said Oshitari to Shishido who was holding a video camera at Atobe's door.

-

"Yea, Shishido and Oshitari were just at the door filming this whole incident."

"LIES!! I WILL HAVE YOU PUNISHED FOR THIS!!"

* * *

And the whole team watches in awe as Atobe repeatedly smashes Gakuto's head into the wall.

"Wow, maybe that'll crack through his thick head." said Shishido.

"I feel kinda sorry for him." said Choutarou.

"At least I get to play in tomorrow's game." said Taki.

"-_Yawn-_ Hey guys what just happened?" asked Jirou, who just woke up.

* * *

Yay! Finally done! Sorry if the Gakuto bashing (literally, this time) offends you. Please read and review!! I'll try to write more as soon as possible! Feel free to give me suggestions on the next chapter!


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